Sunday, October 26, 2008

This happens only in IIT ....

Claimer: All characters in this blog are factual and surely exist. All incidents depicted here are absolutely true and I claim it my duty to report it here faithfully.... (welll .... there might be some masala here and there.... cant help it .. )

Scene: Outside ACES Building, IIT Kanpur.
Characters: Childoo, DumDum, TataIndicom, Mucchad (Yours Truly !! )

Mucchad: Abbeh !! ... its 6PM already !! .. the SEL show is gonna start at 8:30 ... there will be a huge queue already outside Audi Grounds...
DumDum: Arre this is too early to go man.... we will go by 7:30 or so...
Childoo: (whining as usual) haan yaar... lets not go so early ... we will waste lot of time there...
Mucchad: But if we go too late the queue would have reached a length tending to infinity !! .. we might have to apply limits to evaluate the actual length then...
(Everyone ponders for one of the possible solutions .. )
TataIndicom: Aaaaaahhhh ... I have a solution !! ... we need to find a perfect time to leave so that we join the queue at the most optimum length ... thus we can still hear the concert though we are standing in queue !! ...
DumDum: Haa ! .. that solution is totally flawed !! ... In that case why are we going to the concert anyway ?? ... we might as well listen everything from outside !! ...
Childoo: See .... no point discussing all this ... what we need is an algorithm !!.....
(All are astounded by this brilliant approach)
Childoo: We will go right now and see what is the length of the queue.... if (queue != threshold_length) then come back else join queue.... (Childoo smiles as if he won the Nobel Prize).
Mucchad: Aha !! .. I have found the bug !! ... the condition should be if (queue >= threshold_length) ... I cant believe you actually code for speech processing !! .. (Mucchad smiles as if he snatched the Nobel Prize for himself)
TataIndicom: Aaaaaahhh ..... no time for all that !! ... lets just go now and we will see what to do ...
Childoo: But wahan kyun hai !! (Poor guy actually meant "wahan queue hai")
DumDum: Huh ?????
TataIndicom: Aaaaahhh?
Mucchad: Kya??? ... kya kyun hai?
Childoo: Haan ... wahan kyun hai naa!!
DumDum: Hes gone crazy man....
Mucchad: Ok guys... lets go to lab and work on this algorithm if we have to catch the concert...

Ahemmm.... well ... what can I say... This is what happens here ....

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

61?... 62?? ... 24????

I was just reading Varun's (crazy IITK senior :D ) blog sometime back on his tryst with the Railways. On reading that I recollected a rich incident that occured to me whilst I was travelling back to Mumbai during the summer vacations..... So here it goes ... :)

The train was scheduled at, the not so very auspicious hour of, midnight. I was alone travelling as Varier had cancelled his ticket. Anyway... the platform was as usual full with people running helter-skelter for no reason whatsoever..well ... you put two Railway Officers at the two ends of the platform giving information and you will get what I mean....
The train arrived exactly as the big clock on the platform struck 12. Seriously... Lalooji is doing a great job !!! ... Not prepared for this miracle I had to run along the train to find my compartment with all the luguage.... not a very good sight actually...
Finally I got into B2 and now the mission had changed to finding my berth. Most of the people had already "hit their berths" ... so had to use all my stealth to find berth 61.

"Excuse me uncle... yeh berth mera hai".
"Oh accha... ek minute". Uncle didnt like me waking him up. I could sense from his tone.
No sooner had I kept my luguage on the seat another dude came along.
"Hey.. Thats my seat ! " .
"Huh ??? ... I think theres some mistake... 61 is my berth", I protested.
"But I just got my waitlisted seat confirmed to 61... ".
With a bewildered look I checked my ticket only to find my seat was actually 62 !! ...
No prizes for guessing whose seat 61 was ..... I knew it was all Varier's conspiracy !!

Admitting my mistake I was about to shift my bags when this uncle from behind...
"Beta ... aap please berth 24 le leejiya naa... please?"
"Huh???". It was just my day.
"Woh kya hai na.. mere bete ko 24 mila hai.. aur mujhe 59... toh please aap wahan chale jayenge?".
'Well if you want a family reunion why cant YOU shift there!!'. This is what I thought.
"Haan ... kyun nahi uncle... OK". This is what I said... with a smile too...

So now I drag my bags all over again back to the other end of the compartment with half the people awake by all the ruckus.
And what do I find... Yes... some lady is sleeping blisfully on berth 24....
Exasperated I see that berth 25 is empty and assuming she slept in 24 by mistake I camp on 25 and try to catch some sleep.
Just when I was about to enter dreamland I get a nudge on my back....
"Ticket please...". What a time for the TTE to arrive. I cursed Lalooji for making Railways too efficient.
I show him my ticket and start explaining the whole double swapping that has happened till now.
Finally decoding my elaborate explanation he asks...
"Toh aapka seat 24 hai??"
"Haan ji". I almost shouted.
"Toh 24 mein jaa kar soyi naa..... yeh seat toh 34 hai !!".

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Once again....

The evening was really special.

It was like everything around was just perfect. It was a lonely road to our home. Surprisingly lonely. The breeze was cool.... just the right amount of cool. The trees were rustling in the breeze occasionaly shedding some dried leaves. Birds chirping along adding to the symphony. And all made more perfect with her walking along my side.

I couldnt believe it was happening. It was just too good to be true.

Admist all this I realised she was talking about something. As usual I thought. I smiled. We had our backpacks on so maybe we were returning after a picnic or something. I couldnt assert on that. Dunno why. Maybe just walking with her was making me delirious.

"Why are u smiling like this?", she asked breaking her narrative.
"Huh?... Ohh... nothing.. " I couldnt come up with anything more intelligent.
"Hmph. Ignoring me as usual. Anyway.. as I was saying..." and she countinued.

She looked so bright today. Maybe it was the setting sun that was playing with the colors but there was an unoccasional aura. I thought of concentrating on her narrative as not to be ridiculed again. But suprisingly I coudlnt follow much of it. Thats wierd, I thought.

We seemed to be walking for like eternity when I saw my home ahead.
We had to part and it seemed to pull out my heart. I just didnt want to let her away from me. I saw the same thought in her eyes.
She wanted to say something. I knew it. I too didnt want to leave.
Bang! Bang! . A loud noise thundered.
"Sirjee.... room saaf karna hai kya?"
I opened my eyes to find the leaves of the fan rotating slowly above me.
I realised why it was so wonderful and weird.
"Nahiii... aaj nahi". i screamed without rising from my bed.

I closed my eyes again.

Sometimes dreams are so much more wonderful than reality.
I wanted to be with her again.... Once again...

Friday, March 28, 2008

We are what we are...

We are a very queer species.. Humans... Something I have observed that other earthlings dont usually share...... Hypocrisy. Next time you visit a zoo, try and jump into a lion's pit. The lion would not tell you "Sorry dude.... not hungry today" and still keep thinking of how will you taste better..... as a barbeque or deep fried !! No double standards here sir.

"Chetta!! (Brother in mallu) ... I want a BICYCLE!!" little brother has a latest fad.

"So? What am I supposed to do? Ask Amma..." Yes.... I am a heartless prick..

"Nooo.... Amma said to ask you to ask Acchan (Dad) to buy me a bicycle".

Now thats typical of amma...give the dangerous assignments to her loving elder son. Asking Dad to get him a bicycle !!!... Now according to Dad ... little brother is not of age to try such risky and life threatning vehicles... So that puts me in a pickle situation.... Should I tell the innocent one about the harsh truth or escape by giving him false hopes ?

Flashhbackkk.... lot more years back.... I was the age of little bro and we were spending holidays at my native place Kerala. I and Amma had just returned from Amma's home to Dad's house.

"Ammaa!!... I want to go back to Roshan's place!! NOW!!" . Roshan is my cousin at Amma's home who was my only pal in Kerala as such.

"Haan unni.... we will go back tomorrow ok?" Amma's voice was never more sweeter.

Delighted at the prospect of going back so soon I waited for "tomorrow".
And yes... you guessed it right... the tomorrow never came. Betrayed by my own mother I couldnt go back to Roshan's place for the rest of my time in Kerala.

It took me several years to understand how difficult it is to manage little time when we have to visit each and every relative's house on every Kerala visit. I sympathised for Amma.

Anyway... back to present.... little bro is literally shouting in my ears to break my trance.

"So? Will you talk to Acchan?" the inncoent quering eyes asked.

"Of course yaar.... Dont you worry....I'll talk to him as soon as he comes from office ok?"
With a renewed glow the poor soul ran outside to tell the news to his friends.

Hypocrites. Yes sir... my First Class ticked to Hell is booked.

So my point is .... so what we show two faces sometimes.... if its for a "greater cause" so be it....

As Don Michael Corleone so eloquently put it... "We are all Part of the same Hypocrisy"....

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Here i am.....

"Why dont you write blogs man?" asks my friend during dinner. The spoon almost drops from my hand.

"Blogs??!!?? Me?? ... no man... not my cup of tea or coffee or any beverage for that matter!!" I thought.

"Well... I had thought of it... am not so good at writing re... " I finally replied. Standard Class I reply for such dangerous questions.

Of course the thought of zillion netizens reading your thoughts and passing judgments on scary at all.
But the thought lingered all the way back from mess through chatting sessions in corridors to my room.....

"Why not?" I thought.... So, thanking my unnamed friend, here I am....